Father

Whats a father? The man who contributed in making you? A person you can rely on and who supports you?

For me, its the same as with the term 'family'. I dont like and even hate some of my so-called family (= blood relatived family) so i chose to define Family, as well as father, otherwise.

I remember my childhood being very happy, colourful and lively ^^ It was a really beautiful time where we all were together and had fun and my brother and i were safe from everything bad.
Today, my dad is another father. He doesnt know me, doesnt even care. Not because he doesnt like me. No, not at all. He only cares for himself much, much, MUCH more. When i tell him i'm ill, he says he's worse. And he complains how he has to deal with all this, his illness, and mine. Funny, because he hardly sees me. Everytime i talk with him, i try to be neutral and not angry at him. But all he ever talks about is how life sucks for him, how everyone is against him, and if i dare to ask him for help, i'm one of the people who doesnt let him live in peace. If i tell him, i would like to see him more often, he tells me that he gets nearly bullied at work and doesnt have time for me. And when i wait for him to call me, he says i never talk to him and that he's such a poor father because of his daugther that neglects him.

So for everyone out there, who has a father, that yells sometimes at you, because he's worried about you, who asks you what you do and where you were eeetc...Enjoy it!! Your dad CARES about you! That's something not everyone has

Happy Fathersday to all of you who deserve to be called Dad

Adventures

Do you know this feeling when something you see/hear/etc triggers a strong longing for....something you cant really name?

Today i remembered the time when i was reading The Mortal Instruments and Clockwork Angel. I love this world Cassandra Clare created! I love fantasystories since i was born, but not the cheesy ones. The ones where the protagonists face different troubles, physical and emotional ones. Where the heroe is someone who could live next door. And then they enter a world of unimaginable fascination and get to know a new side of themselves, one that is more brave and stronger, just like everybody else wants to be.
And now, everytime i remember one of Clares Books, i feel this longing for...I dont know exactly what. Partly i want to experience the same kind of adventures they do, and partly i want to meet the people in the books. They are so cool and brave, i would love to get to know them (if they were real of course). And not to forget, i want to see the hot guys Clare describes *g* Magnus *shriek* XD
To put it briefly, i like my life how it is. More or less. But i wouldnt be sad if it would have more kind of 'adventures' in it. My life is alright, but it seems so boring sometimes. I want to do something that can change the world or at least something important so that people notice me. I know, it sounds pathetic. But be honest, dont you want to be a hero sometimes too? ;)

Jane Austen

Last week i rediscovered Jane Austen (watching 'Becoming Jane'). The films, not the books. That's another topic i'll have to deal with later.

I finally watched Pride and Prejudice and yes, the people were right to recommend me the movie. I love Keira Knightleys Performance and the whole actors way of speaking british english. In Pirates of the Caribbean Keira annoys me a bit, but in Pride+ she's rebellious, laughs with her sister like normal siblings and in total, she seems more...natural. And Mr. Darcy! Oh he's so damn cute with his inability to show his true emotions (or any emotions at all XD). When he confesses his feelings in the rain he's so sweet :D

Sense and Sensibility is a film i watched when i was a child and i didnt understand what the movie really was about. Now i fully understand and i like it. I even shed some tears when Elinor learns that Edward already is engaged. And later, when he tells her that he didnt marry and loves her. Oh and of course Mariannes Misery is very sad, but Colonel Brandons quiet and unfullfilled longings for her seemed more woeful to me.

I'm trying to find an Emma film, but until i accomplish this goal i'll want to watch Northanger Abbey. Persuasion is also a name on my To-Do-List.

Viewed this way, i'm filling another gap in my general knowledge, so wish me luck and a nice movie evening XD

New Project

I started my new Project "Mikaela". It's a Cosplay from a Manga i really admire. And her character is weird and selfish, so she's a real fun person to perform, cant wait to try :D And the best of all is, she has a wonderful dress, with a nice wide crinoline and it's not too hard to make. I hope O.o

 Already started yesterday, it's just a bit hard to sew and pitch without someone who helps me or without a tailor's dummy. So wish me luck that i can make it into a real nice dress that fits me ;)

Little Secrets

When you walk through your town, you only see the big things. The buildings, a crowd of people, the sky. But if you look closer you can discover some interesting things.
I was at a friend's place some while ago and he had this wonderful clock

I love this kind of clocks, but i never saw one in real life. Now i found it in a place i would've at least expected it.
You never know where you find such things, but nobody cares. Nowadays everyone has stress and has to rush from one place to another. They dont have the time to stop and look around. I think they miss very much!

Loving your 'Home'Country

Whenever somebody says, "I'm a Tyrolean/Spanish/etc" i wonder, who am I? I love Tyrol, the mountains, the green scenery, the nature in general, the cities, the social security, the tranquility, etc etc . But i hate the way the Austrians behave. They dont say what they really think about you, they only bitch around from behind. They are lacking passion and fieriness, and are on the whole....like cold ice. If they like you, or if they hate you...You only get to know if you torture them to say it directly to you. Well, more or less.
On the other hand,spanish people do whatever they do with all their heart. If they love or hate you, be sure, you'll definitely notice! Their love is something i really miss. Especially the love of my family. They would do everything to protect me, or someone of our family! But if they hate you, they make sure you'll curse the day you met them. And the situation in Spain at the moment isnt very good. You're lucky if you have a job. And if not...poor you. That's one of the reasons why you get robbed nearly everywhere.

I love both Countries, i think my spanish temper and my austrian calmness can sometimes really coexist. But everytime somebody asks me from which country i am, i dont know what to answer..

Different Point of View

Ever wondered how animals see our world? For example my cat. The only thing he seems to care about is eating (a loot), sleeping (22/day) and looking dumb through big beautiful eyes XD But every now and then he suddenly looks up and stares intently at the wall/etc. I never get to see what draws his interest. Sometimes i wonder if he can see spirits. Or just extremely small spiders ^^

 And when he's awake, my little boy can be very cute =^.^=

Family

What's Family? If you have luck, your blood relatives. But what if they arent people who care about you like a family should?
There are many people out there. If you look closely and stay the way you want to be, you'll find some who will be your friends. Your best friends. Your true family.

I wish you luck to find them. And dont despair, for every single person there is a true family out there!

Changes

I am impressed of the changes a person can go through. Remember Miyavi, young, crazy and seemingly insane? XD

Well, he turned into a more adultlike singer, doting father and husband. Though he still seems to be miyavi-crazy ^.^

He still is my hero, my model! He changed so many times, but he never changed how he is. He will always be an energetic, outgoing, openminded crazy little boy who has a biiig heart.

Love you Miyavi!!!!