I got home today from my trip to my family in spain. It was a really fun time, i got time to play with my cousin and went with here to an amusement park (3x3 really cool/frigthening rollercoaster, i'm great! XD) and i got to understand the situation spain and my family is in right now (sad, pessimistic and dangerous) a lot better.
But during these two weeks, there was always a thought at the back of my mind. . . The second day in Madrid, we got an early phone call. My mum told me that one of our dearest friends shot himself with a rifle. In his office. His cleaning lady found him.... I still cant believe it. It sounds like a CSI chapter. Even the details, which i dont want to remember again writing them down. But i had to forget all about this, to not let it spoil (. . .) my trip, which my mum bought for me as a present. Besides, my granny was grieving enough for us both. I couldnt let my sad thoughts deepen her pain. Or the pain of my mum, aunt. . . So i packed it away. But now i'm back at home, where i could let the tears flow without (many) restriction. Still, i know i wont be able to fully believe it. He was rich, admired, loved, successful and he laughed so much!!! He seemed to enjoy life to its fullest!! Everything i thought i knew about him stands in complete contrast to the way he chose to die. And we dont even know why!! I'm so sad, and angry. He left us, his friends, his three sons and his wife and many, many more behind, without even explaining why!! I really cant think about a reason why he was driven to such a harsh death. . . Except maybe an incurable lethal sickness. But i'm afraid, we'll never get to know it.
I just had to write this down, it's a form of letting the sadness out too ^^°
You never know what your friends, the one's you think are so close to you, really think. Love them while you can
Wow... I can't even begin to understand what you and everyone who knew that man are going through right now. Anger, sadness, pain and disbelief... It seems like nobody saw that coming. I'm so sorry.
AntwortenLöschenSometimes it's an invisible disease - a mental disease - that drives people to kill themselves. No one could've known, not even the people close to him. That's the scary part about people; we never truly know what's going on inside other people's minds and hearts.
So from what I gathered, this was a huge shock for everyone... I'm sort of proud of you for not ltrying to bring everyone involved down with your own sadness. However, sometimes holding back your tears to spare someone else isn't the best thing to do. I think that grieving together can heal...
That said, I just want to let you know that I'm here for you!
I hope you could somehow still enjoy your time in Spain. Even such tragic circumstances might help you gain a new perspective on life.
Experiencing the finality of death like this makes some people appreciate life itself even more.
*hugs*