Sad news + new friend

Today, eeearly in the morning Troy Davis was executed after a 4hour delay. I still cannot believe it. Georgia executed a person although there were so many doubts, you could have filled the Grand Canyon with them! That means, they simply killed him. Just because they wanted to, or didnt want to lose their face, or...dont know what. But he may have died, his spirit did not and everyone who was touched by it will fight for the abolition of the death penalty!

No Human should be allowed to decide about another humans life or death! Thats a thing solely nature should do.
All this has strengthend my goal to become someone who can at least fight against this kind of unjust and inhuman things. I know we will lose many, maaanys times. But if from 100 times we try, one results in e.g. the aboliton of death penaltie in ONE country, it was worth it.
Many people told me that i was a naive girl, to believe that i could change the world. But they are wrong, i AM able of doing so. Because even the littlest things can change something. And so i am going to do piece by piece ^-^


Next topic for today: I "baby-sitted" for the first time! He is the 12year old son of a friend of my mum and he is a nice kid. It was interesting to be responsible for him. I constantly thought, did i say the right thing? Did i treat him right? etc. etc. etc. But in sum it was a nice evening. The only bad news is that he doesnt listen to me when i say he should go offline. Oh boy, he never wanted to let the laptop go! He wanted to show me things (..ok) and then he wanted to finish reading/watching something while i was waiting for him to come to eat. When he finally began eating, it was nearly cold -.- Well, at least i know what my weaknesses are. Now i'll have to train my voice and attitude to sound more convincing. Wish me luck! *rofl*

New Band + new purpose

I'll start with the positive thing: Looking for a japanese ex-band-member i found a new Band ^-^
An Cafe was one of my favourite JBands. Their sound was just so ... "lets party! Be happy!" So i went to two concerts where i saw my favourite band member live: Kanon. Since then i couldnt forget this guy. He is kind of cute (although he's not super handsome, i saw the pics w/o makeup. but still cute ^.^) even in his shy way of talking and gesturing and he is funny. So after the band split up i wanted to know what he does now. He set up a new Band together with Kanon Wakeshima. And their Band Name is Kanon x Kanon *lol* So i listened to the few first songs (e.g. Calendula Requiem). I like it! And btw i listened to Wakeshimas Songs too, and i like them also! Yay me, found new good music sources XD I need more good music for my mp3 player, all the songs i have on it sounded out X.x

The thing which saddend me today was the case about Troy Davis. He is going to be executed for a murder he almost surely didnt do. He is said to have killed a police officer. I think that means that the authorities wanted a suspect as soon as possible and didnt do their investigations as thouroughly as they should have done it. And to fulfill the cliché, the suspect is black -.- Now he'll be killed although there are many facts who at least let you doubt that he did it:

• Four witnesses admitted in court that they lied at trial when they implicated Troy Davis
• Four witnesses implicated another man as the one who killed Officer MacPhail
• Three original state witnesses described police coercion during questioning, including one man who was 16 years old at the time of the murder

In dubio pro reo means that if you are not sure that he commited this murder, you shouldnt kill him!! Despite that they rejected his plea for, well not to kill him already a few! times.
Why does anyone want to kill a man this bad? Just to be able to say, we got the bad guy? The dead victim now rests in peace? B***sh**. A dead person is DEAD. I dont think it matters to him what happens on earth, since he's longer around -.-

Ok, enough of that. As concluding words i want to add that i may have found what i want to be/work as in my life. Someone who tries to stop such people!

^-^

Noise

Playing with my family UNO today i realized...I like a noisy family life! My spanish part of the family is very loud, talks much and expresses her/hisself loud and clear *g* Compared to that the austrians are....well, quiet. They dont talk much about their feelings or what they think and when they come together in a reunion or something like that, all they speak about is who got married, who got kids, who got which job etc. At least the families i know are like that.
This kind of living together downright disgusts me. I think in a family you should be loud and say what you think and be crazy and stupid. For what else does a family exist if not for being as you are, sometimes even dumb or annoying? At the end of the day, your family will still be your family, so you dont have to fear that they'll leave you just for being stupid once. And they'll know that normally you are not like that. And when you have to be quiet even with your parents and siblings....i think i would go crazy. You just need someplace where you can go crazy protected.
And then there are families who arent quiet because they dont dare to talk about feelings etc, but rather because they dont care much. They are too concentrated on their own life or already grown so apart that they dont coexist as a unit and are more like a living community. I think thats a very sad situation because they actually like each other, in some kind of way.
Either way, family is important. And their level of noise too XD So i want to be a mother whose children can ask me anything (i wont answer EVERYthing, but they may ask *gg*), shout because something makes them angry or sad, and tell me what they REALLY think. It will be very exhausting and i'm sure i'll get nerve damage and premature tinnitus, but at least i'll know that my kids will live as the persons they want to be ^-^

Weird

Yesterday i bought the utensils for my fathers present, cloth and ribbon. Thought that i could make him an Omamori. If I make it myself i can make it just for him, for what he needs. At times when i'm in a bad mood, i think i should wish him mental sanity. When i'm in a sad mood, it's sense/realization. But i must remain neutral, so i think it should be something like...luck with the job or luck with his life in general. Sounds really stunning -.-

Everytime i think about this situation, i have to refrain from laughing. Not a happy laughter. Its just too strange.


When i was little, the world was entirely ok. The only problems i had were the presents i didnt get at christmas, the sweets i wanted to have etc. My mum was strict but kind and my dad was like a big clown and sometimes even a hero to me. I knew i was being protected. Then came the time when i suddenly had to realize that my dad had exchanged his/my family just to be with another woman. And he began to change. Everything my brother and i said was a subtil attack from my mother to him. So we could no longer speak normally with him. He wanted us to chose one side, but hey, which child can do that?!? I think this was the time when we started to drift apart. He no longer knew who his kids were and we only got to know that our father saw us as nice to play with but very expensive and complicated to deal with. As time went by our relationship became more and more difficult. The only thing he now knows about me (or thinks to know) is that i only want his money and his problems dont matter to me. And the only thing i still know about him is that he only sees me 1) as a clone of my mother 2) as a money-hungry leech
And now, after countless times of trying to get through to him, i couldnt stand it anymore. He told me that he no longer has obligations regarding us kids. After all, we already are full-aged... Seems like he thought all we should do now is visit him, show him that we love him, have fun with him and his family etc.Being all love, peace and harmony stuff -.-
I just cant do that. I'm no person who can ignore the negative things and act as if nothing happened. And it hurts me to deal with my father, when he no longer sees me as his kid, whom he has to protect and take care of. Especially now i would need his help. I'm in a really difficult situation, and i cant even explain to myself what the problem is. So i need every help i can get. And one of the persons who should be my crutch ignores that i am in need of support.
So now in a few days he'll celebrate his 50th Birthday. Since my brother is going to attend i'll give him my present to take with him. Still, its a weird situation.
Does everybody have this kind of trouble?? Sometimes i think it would be a lot easier if i were an animal. A  pantheress would be nice :)

Need new Motivation

I decided to make another 'Cosplay', or better another dress. I noticed that since i came back from the festival where i wore my last Cosplay (Mikaela) i slept too much. Normally i woke up at 2p.m. and that's far too late Oo Not to mention the fact that i overslept some urgent duties ^^° That's not good, so i need something i can look forward to when i first think about getting up.That's harder than you imagine Oo Especially when you dont go to work/school -.-

My other ideas for spending my time are beginning to write a new story (with an old idea XD), making many photos of the dog we are taking care of (he's so tiny cute and full of energy ^-^) or redecorating my room. Lets see if i find the needful motivation to do some of these things XD