Now it happened. And i still don't know what i would do. Or should do.
All i know is that the pillar i always leaned on, my oasis where i could relax and forget the chaos that my life is, is gone. I know i'll survive this and it'll someday make me stronger. But right now? I don't even know what to do on a day-to-day basis. Sounds naive and weak, but hey, he was part of my life for TEN years!
Everything that happened, be it good or bad, i would talk about it with him. He was the first person i'd call when i had something new to tell. He was my best friend. I can tell SOME things to my friends and SOME things to my mum. But him i could tell EVERYthing.
Plus, even though it sounds totally lame, i feel like i lost my meaning in life. I never was the type of girl that saw the meaning in life in being in a relationship, but still. Somethings off. Somethings missing. And since i don't have much in life; i still have no work, no daily routine, nothing to do really.... he filled up much of my empty life.
My mum sees it as a chance at changing my life. I know she means well, but how the heck would being left by your partner help in finding work or stabilize my mental health?
It's been a month now. I'm starting to not sleep 20hours a day and am beginning to enjoy things again. I didn't read or play ANYTHING the first three weeks after. Bleh.
Hey, at least i now have even MORE time to play. I bought some new games on steam, including Nightshade. That one is the only one i already started and it's awesome!!! But i'll make a separate post about it ^-^
(last november, us dancing at my birthday party. good times)
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